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The Most Important Meal of the Day

The Most Important Meal of the Day

Breakfast as the most important meal of the day is a quintessentially American idea. In fact, Dr. John Harvey Kellogg, a physician and nutritionist, is credited with establishing this principle sometime in the late nineteenth century. Kellogg promoted eating grains, fruits, nuts to his patients and eventually invented Corn Flakes.

Since the explosion of the breakfast foods industry there are proponents and opponents with research to support their positions. Some subscribe to Kellogg’s general view, while others see conspiracy to grow a multi-billion dollar industry.

Setting aside research, opinions, and conspiracies, we know the most important meal of the day at The House is not breakfast but lunch.

For years, we have told you about the diligent and loving volunteers who provide lunch every day we are open. We include this information in brochures and grant requests because we want people to understand that beyond providing a job, we care about the physical, mental, and spiritual well-being of the women serve.

But lunch at The House is so much more.

An Oasis in a Food Desert

A report from the Cecil C. Humphreys School of Law titled, “The Roots of Food Deserts,” notes that,

In Memphis, one can drive along Poplar Avenue from downtown all the way to Collierville and find full-scale grocery stores within a one-to-two-mile radius of one another along the entire route. But…areas like South Memphis, Orange Mound, Binghampton, North Memphis, Whitehaven or Frayser… face a much more difficult task in finding anything resembling a full-service grocery store.

USDA’s Interactive Atlas shows that almost the entirety of Orange Mound is considered low income and low access to food. The median income in Orange Mound is just over $21,000, but 35% of residents make $15,000 or less according to the Census. Kroger closed its Orange Mound store in 2018 and Aldi soon followed. This left the oldest African American neighborhood in the U.S. without a grocery store.

We have often lamented the transportation woes that plague the women at My Cup of Tea. Couple this with a lack of a full-service grocery within close proximity, and the inability to obtain healthy and hearty meals reaches a near crisis point.

The daily lunches at the House are reliable. The MCOT women know that if all else fails on a given day, there will be a meal at 3028 Carnes. The daily fare may be familiar, or it may be a dish they’ve never experienced, but it will fill their bellies and almost always send them home with leftovers.

The Sisterhood of Daily Lunches

When lunch is served, almost everyone eats together around the heavy hardwood table in the center room of The House. If it’s warm and sunny, they gather on the porch and sit in rocking chairs and on the swing. The important thing is they are together.

This is the time when conversation, laughter, and sometimes tears ensue. There is plenty of camaraderie throughout the workday but depending on the task assigned and the number of customers to serve, the women are working in small groups or alone in different parts of the House. But at lunch, everyone pauses for nourishment – the physical and the kind we crave and receive from authentic human interaction. The conversations range from the mundane to the extraordinary, and within that small window of time, they can learn the latest neighborhood news, comment on the weather, and share deep, personal and spiritual challenges.

On one recent day, a woman nervously shared a secret that she had been keeping from her sisters. It wasn’t the kind of secret that was harmful to others, but it was about a past indiscretion that had reared its head again. Now, there would be some consequences. She wanted them to know because of the respect and love she had for them, and she wanted their prayers. The woman cried, her sisters cried, but no one judged or wagged a finger. Not only did they pray, but some also stepped up in immediate and tangible ways to help. We’ll write more about this in a future post.

Being Fed and Fed by the Spirit

Physical needs are met with the plate of food before each woman. But spiritual needs are met with a time of devotion and prayer. Most days, Debbie, our operations manager, or a volunteer offer a brief word of Scripture, a devotional reading, or a reflection.

The dialogue isn’t just one-way. Instead, a discussion often develops with women sharing how the truths of the lesson being discussed are evident in their lives. They offer words of genuine gratitude and acknowledge their ongoing need and desire for prayer and God’s direction in their lives.

And when the plates are empty and everyone is full, the meal ends the way it started – with prayer. The women clear their plates, move toward their work stations, and wonder about the kinds sustenance tomorrow’s lunch will bring.

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A Woman's Place is in the History Books

A Woman's Place is in the History Books

 

Editor's Note: March is Women's History Month, and we shared a version of this post a year ago. We have updated the post, but the points are still quite relevant. We hope you will read it again and reflect on the gift of these amazing women who are My Cup of Tea.

 

The Memphis weather is schizophrenic. A blanket of chartreuse pollen covers the cars left in the elements overnight. The Bradford Pears, Dogwoods, and Daffodils are robustly blooming, while teeny green buds are peeking out from the branches of hardwoods across the city. These are sure signs that spring is near, but something else important is happening too.

March is National Women’s History Month.

In 1987, Congress enacted a perpetual declaration that March would be National Women’s History Month. In 1980, President Jimmy Carter recognized a week in the month as National Women’s History Week. In announcing the designation, Carter said this:

From the first settlers who came to our shores, from the first American Indian families who befriended them, men and women have worked together to build this nation. Too often the women were unsung and sometimes their contributions went unnoticed. But the achievements, leadership, courage, strength and love of the women who built America was as vital as that of the men whose names we know so well.”

Carter was and is correct that women have made some of the most significant contributions to our nation with either delayed recognition or in some cases no recognition at all. But without minimizing the contributions of prominent women in our nation’s history, we should also remember that their achievements were built on a foundation laid by other women whose names, hard work, and dedication will never be known to the masses. These are “ordinary” women – mothers, grandmothers, sisters, aunts, teachers, church leaders, nurses, and caretakers – who invested in girls, other women, and communities.

Orange Mound Women

We’ve often told you how extraordinary the My Cup of Tea women are. Each overcome enormous personal tragedy and struggle to fight for a better future for themselves, their children, grandchildren, and neighborhood. A new addition to our family earned her real estate license and has sold four properties. Another woman walked across a stage to receive a diploma for her recently murdered daughter. Another is the primary caretaker for a special needs brother who is also diabetic. And one of our grandmothers stepped-up to gain custody of her special needs granddaughter. Still others have overcome addiction and the streets believing there is a better way. Yet, despite the challenges, they are quick to reach into shallow pockets where they always find something to give a sister in need. They’re choosing to grow roots deeper in Orange Mound, rather than relocating to other parts of the city. They are invested in the success of My Cup of Tea, not only for what it can do for them, but for how it can help stabilize their beloved Orange Mound.

East Memphis Sisters

Serving beside the Orange Mound women are their East Memphis sisters. Most of these sisters have likely had an easier existence than their My Cup of Tea counterparts. They are better resourced and financially secure. They have a network of friends, acquaintances, and experiences that make navigating life simpler. Most have skills and education that have led them to succeed in homemaking, business, or community engagement. They could have remained in the relative safety and comfort of their East Memphis enclave, but instead they answered a call to serve people whose culture and experiences are vastly different than their own in a neighborhood they have most certainly been told is unsafe. Yet, they came anyway, and are still coming. They bring lunches, plant gardens, package tea, sew aprons, refinish furniture, and donate time and money. The most important things they do are listen, learn, and befriend their Orange Mound sisters without judgment.

The Backbone

If the Orange Mound women and their East Memphis sisters are the “hands and feet” of My Cup of Tea, then Debbie is the backbone. Debbie is the operations manager and resident tea expert. It is her knowledge, work ethic, and genuine love of the My Cup of Tea women that coalesce to make the operation successful. Debbie is accounting, human resources, supply chain and logistics, and sales and marketing combined in a single human. She is fiercely organized and committed to stellar customer service. However, Debbie’s most important roles are counselor, teacher, and friend. The My Cup of Tea women know that they can bring any problem or struggle to Debbie. She listens, guides, advises, and prays for and with them. Some even call her Momma D.

The Visionary

Many of the notable women in American History were visionaries. At My Cup of Tea, our visionary is our founder Carey Moore, though she never claims the vision as her own. Carey is quick to say that the idea for this social enterprise in Orange Mound came from the Lord. Through fervent prayer, biblical wisdom, and an indefatigable spirit, Carey leads and inspires all associated with My Cup of Tea. Carey is always reading, learning, and applying new information to the mission of the organization. When a problem presents itself, Carey in undeterred by its complexity or unsavoriness. Her goal is always to resolve it with the best interests of others in mind.

Women Making History

For all the sweat, toil, and prayer of the last eight years, it is all but certain that no woman in any role with My Cup of Tea will be lauded in the annals of American, Tennessee, or Memphis history. But it is almost equally certain that there will be women in the future who will rise to the level of historical figure because of the impact of My Cup of Tea and its women. Perhaps a granddaughter or great granddaughter will achieve scientific, business, or political success because their grandmother or great grandmother broke the cycle of generational poverty through her employment at My Cup of Tea. Or maybe a young woman, because her family moved into one of the new, affordable homes to be built on Semmes Street, will have her own room where she studies, excels in school, and becomes a great American author.  Whoever she is, whatever the accomplishment, or whenever it occurs, the My Cup of Tea women are helping to make history everyday and for that we are grateful.

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A Leap of Faith

A Leap of Faith

If you’ve been distracted lately by the romance between some football player and a musician, you may not have realized that February has 29 days this year, not 28. Twenty twenty-four is a Leap Year, but besides delaying the beginning of March, what is the significance of it?

As a matter of science, the earth’s orbit around the sun is not exactly 365 days. It is closer to 365.2422 days. Over time, if the calendar is not adjusted to compensate for nearly an extra quarter of a day each year, the alignment between our calendar and our seasons becomes skewed. So, Julius Cesar with help from the Egyptians invented what we now refer to as Leap Year.

Beyond the science, the quirkiness of adding an extra day once every four years has spawned a number of peculiar traditions and observances. For example, in 5th Century Ireland, Saint Bridget convinced Saint Patrick that women should have a day when they are allowed to propose to a man. Saint Patrick agreed and endorsed women having a day to propose…once every 4 years. Thus, Leap Day became known as Bachelor’s Day.

Adding to the tradition across Europe, Queen Margaret of Scotland decreed that if the man declined the proposal from the woman, he must pay a fine of one pound up to a silk gown. It is unclear why some men paid a pound and others the excessive silk gown fine – maybe it was based in the vehemence of the rejection or whether he declined in public. To further spice up the infrequent occasion, at some point women were allowed to wear red petticoats presumably to signal to the world and the would-be husband that a proposal was at hand. And speaking of hands, in Denmark men who rejected a proposal were required to purchase 12 pairs of gloves so the women could disguise the embarrassment of not having a ring.

In Taiwan, married daughters are required to come home on Leap Day to prepare a meal for their aging parents. And the meal is just not any old meal. Daughters bring and cook the ingredients for Pig Trotter Noodles. What are Pig Trotter Noodles, you ask? Pig trotters are pig’s feet, and rice noodles are stewed in pig’s feet broth. The meal is said to be so delicious that it guarantees good fortune and health to the parents.

In Germany’s Rhineland, boys place a small, ribboned birch tree on the step of a girl they are “sweet on” the night before May Day. However, in Leap Years the roles are reversed, and the girls place the decorated tree at the doors of the boys. It is also tradition that only the girls dance around the May Pole the following day.

Right here in America, the town of Anthony, Texas hosts a four-day-long festival to celebrate Leap Year. People born on Lead Day, known as Leapings or Leap Day Babies, are elevated to celebrity status and people from all over the world visit the town of Anthony to enjoy the food, music, and activities in celebration of Leap Year.

What does all this have to do with My Cup of Tea and Orange Mound?

What all of these traditions, and others not included, have in common is an urging to do something out of the ordinary. They recognize that Leap Year doesn’t happen every day or every year, so it’s a chance to do something different. It’s an extra day to live life in a way that makes a difference for someone.

On this Leap Year, we have a proposal of our own.

Would you consider supporting the ladies at My Cup of Tea by becoming a sustaining donor?

Our sustaining donor program is called The Blend. Members decide how much they want to give, and each month that amount is charged to a credit or debit card. You can join for as little as $10 dollars per month. In addition to receiving gifts based on the amount you donate each month; you will have the joy of knowing that your money is supporting the women of My Cup of Tea in their journey out of poverty. Unlike the Leap Year proposals of old, if you decline, we won’t be looking to collect a silk gown or 12 pairs of gloves.

Doing something unique often involves a “leap of faith.” It wasn’t a Leap Year or a Leap Day, but 10 years ago, we trusted the Lord and founded this tea company and much good has come from it. We ask you to pray and consider taking a leap of your own.

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Orange Mound is Black History

Orange Mound is Black History

February is Black History Month. Orange Mound has a compelling chapter in the story of remarkable feats of Black men and women in our country. Original and resolute, the Black Memphians who worked for white Memphians carved out a section in Southeast Memphis in 1890 and built a neighborhood for themselves called Orange Mound.

Melil Powell, a local historian, said:

Orange Mound was built on the John George Deaderick Plantation. Deaderick purchased 5,000 acres of land between 1825 and 1830, and the neighborhood got its name from a local fruit called the mock orange that grew in the shrubs there. The Deaderick Plantation was sold to a white real estate developer, Izey Eugene Meacham, in 1890. Meacham divided the land and created a segregated subdivision for African Americans. Lots were created in narrow grids and sold for less than one hundred dollars each. The neighborhood originally contained 982 shotgun houses. Compared to white neighborhoods, Orange Mound was inferior, but it was still an important symbol of status among Black Memphians during the Jim Crow era. Overall, Orange Mound has faced many hardships, but continues to foster a strong sense of community and identity within a large urban environment. The neighborhood has a long history of resilience, pride, and sense of identity that continues to live on today.  

One hundred thirty-four years ago, along with the pioneers who settled this city within a city, Jesus moved in as well.  Churches, schools, parks, and economic opportunities were spawned and given life here. Though modest in scale, the bold step engendered robust pride, safety, and a strengthening of cultural values. The valiant success to preserve Black community more than a century ago is lamentably now on “life support.” Crime has created a crucible for all who live within our boundaries.

My Cup of Tea’s objective for over a decade is that The House that is our operations hub stabilize and dignify single moms and grandmoms who live in the neighborhood. Though heads of their homes, they are largely devoid of resources to protect them. Fifty years of slack economic resourcing impedes any who desires to vacate the dangerous blocks within our borders and the creep of crime along our sidewalks and streets. The progress we have imagined for their protection is still improbable, but not impossible.

Rather than capitulate, the ladies are bolstering their courage to take back the neighborhood.  Aligning with the fond memories of their courageous forebearers, the women are seizing their moment to stop the evil in our midst. God’s anointed Orange Mound founders’ ‘enterprise is at the grass root where we abide.  Our women are rising to defend our neighborhood and protect our children.  We are connecting with our local police precinct and following the guidelines of Neighborhood Watch.  Good neighborliness unifies, and knowing our neighbors is paramount to protecting our home and the block on which we live.

Nonetheless, knowing neighbors is more challenging here. Rental houses turn over frequently, front doors are intentionally unwelcoming, and sidewalks are hazardous for pedestrians and bikes.  It’s a small beginning but not one without hope.  What God is stirring within us is re-establishing a safe place for children to play, gardens to thrive, and neighbors to fellowship is in view.  The ladies have found the personal firm footing that our many volunteers and programs have offered.  Within that security, a new obligation has been realized, and with the Lord’s guidance and empowerment, they will redeem what is broken on our blocks and bring safety back to the neighborhood.  We are a ministry of equipping women to do the next thing for the Kingdom. We believe we are part of the solution for the safety of our city within the small corner we live and love. We do not shrink back from the call to do as Isaiah has prophesied.

They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated; they will renew the ruined city. Isaiah 61:4

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More Than the Worst Thing We've Ever Done

More Than the Worst Thing We've Ever Done

The anxiety is almost palpable. Joyful conversations inevitably pivot in a darker direction. Demands for relief are louder than I can ever remember.

I’m talking about crime, of course.

While crime rates were dramatically declining across the nation, homicides in the City of Memphis hit a new record in 2023, breaking the previous record set in 2021. The new year so far doesn’t seem to be relenting, and rightly, we all want something done about it. We desire that criminals be punished in proportion to the severity of their crimes. We expect there to be justice.

But when people are gripped with fear, our “priorities pendulum” swings hard and fast to the side of self-preservation. We tend to forget, to quote Bryan Stevenson author of Just Mercy: A Story of Justice and Redemption that,

Each of us is more than the worst thing we’ve ever done.

At The House, we’re outraged and afraid too. Last year, a woman was gunned down on the sidewalk next door by her partner, and our security cameras captured the whole horrid incident. The daughter of one of the ladies was murdered in a drive-by shooting. And still another employee’s daughter was shot on purpose by a “friend.” Thankfully, she survived.

We plan to channel our anger into efforts to help reduce crime in our little corner of Orange Mound by getting to know the police better, engaging our neighbors, participating in the annual  Night Out, and possibly organizing Neighborhood Watch.

But what we can’t forget is that of the more than 80 women who have crossed the threshold of our tea company, well more than a majority have crossed the law at some point. From illicit drugs to theft to prostitution to gang activity, many of the women we’ve served have spent time in rehab and/or jail. But central to our model is the belief that all of these women are far more than the worst thing they’ve ever done.

Stevenson explains that one who lies, steals, or kills is not just a liar, a thief, or a killer, but a complex and broken human being with gifts and faults and not just the capacity for evil deeds, but the ability to do good too.

For the Christian, this is validated by a higher authority. In Matthew 9:13, Jesus responds to the Pharisees who question why he would dine with tax collectors and sinners. Quoting Hosea 6:6, He says,

Go and learn what this means, ‘I desire mercy and not sacrifice.’ For I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.

If we fail to demonstrate mercy, which the late pastor and theologian, Dr. Timothy Keller said, “…must be free and unmerited to the wrongdoer,” then the experiment happening at 3028 Carnes fails. We instead replace acceptance with judgement, opportunity with rejection, and reconciliation with bitterness.

The My Cup of Tea ladies are benefactors of mercy too. Forty to fifty women, from completely disparate backgrounds and experiences volunteer at My Cup of Tea every year. Few have any real experience with poverty, violent crime, and surviving in the world as a racial or ethnic minority. In their zeal to serve and help, honest, but nevertheless hurtful, mistakes have been made. But so far, the ladies have heaped mercy upon us.

When we consider crime in our community, few, if any, are saying criminals should be absolved and not punished. But for the violent criminal, who may not have shown any mercy to his victim, you can bet he lived a merciless existence prior to the day he committed his worst offense. Children who are abused or witness frequent abuse are more likely to become abusers themselves. A merciless community where guns are the arbiters of disputes breeds less compassion in those surrounded by violence, not more. And a society that permanently labels its members according to the worst thing they’ve ever done produces anger, fear, and an unrelenting cycle of brutality.

Susan Monk Kidd in The Secret Life of Bees says this about mercy,

The world will give you that once in a while, a brief timeout; the boxing bell rings and you go to your corner, where somebody dabs mercy on your beat-up life.

The continuation of that poignant idea is that the bell inevitably rings again, the boxers rise and bounce to the center of the ring and proceed to beat the heck out of each other for a much longer period than the brief respite in the corner.

Maybe it’s naïve, but what if we could begin to extend the time spent in the corner where mercy is dabbed on our beat-up lives? A little more dabbing, a little extra salve for those we meet in our everyday lives might start to make a small difference in the violence that surrounds us.

Afterall, God showed us mercy in that, while we were sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8)
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The Gift Shift

The Gift Shift

The credit card bill from December 2023 has certified that my Christmas gifting this year was excessive. Some of the gifts I gave my family didn’t turn a head and now, sadly, seem hardly worth the wrapping paper and ribbon I used to present them. Buyer’s remorse has clouded over the light in the initial joy I had giving them. Gift giving among my beloved family members begs to be redefined with thoughtfulness on my part. The wind was not behind my sails this year, nor beneath my wings in the annual gathering of my dear ones.

However, the setting in Orange Mound was a refreshing and antithetical experience.  The apparent contrast between giving to family and giving to the poor at Christmas this year is worth noting. I haven’t counted, but I have read there are over 2000 verses about helping the poor in the Bible. As well, there are cautions in Proverbs as to squandering our wealth.

Notwithstanding God’s command to give to the poor, I have often considered why He says to do it countless times.  Beyond the obvious - ‘because they have needs, Silly, and you have resources’ - I have determined the blessing is for me, the gift giver, not just the recipient who is poor. 

The ladies who work with us in Orange Mound more than enthusiastically received Christmas gifts at our Christmas Party two weeks ago.  Much of the rapturous excitement in the room was photographed and videoed and played several hundred times among us over the holiday break with joy and gratitude. Our celebration was uproarious. Specialized, personalized, and memorable gifts from volunteers were given to eleven ladies at the tea company. A favorite couple spent an earlier day with us and shared comforting poetry about the passing of loved ones. One baked a banana nut bread loaf for each. Another made bead bracelets with a personalized charm.   Another gave personalized scripture cards to each with her own name attached to the Lord’s promise.  One of the ladies embroidered tea towels for all her co-workers. Another gave each the devotional, Jesus Calling. Never have we had such bounty and benevolence, tears, and laughter.  It made my Christmas and theirs, and I am still in the afterglow because they are still talking about the gifts and reporting their use of them.

Throughout the year, generous supporters and customers have graced us in favor, monetary donations, and various types of contributions and many have come to see the gratitude we have in receiving them. However, I believe this Christmas was exceptional since the times have been especially challenging in the neighborhood and among the ladies. None of them expected to be “seen, soothed, safe, or secure” borrowing psychologist Curt Thompson’s short list of mental health imperatives in his new book, The Deepest Place.  Much less did they anticipate a raft of presents at our ‘potluck lunch’. Each had drawn a name and brought one gift to that co-worker. That had long been our tradition and more than fun and rewarding in the past.

Who knew that giving personal and thoughtful, though small, gifts to these courageous ladies would make OUR Christmas and theirs!

There is no comparison to the greatest gift of all time in God’s incarnation and ultimately Christ’s sacrifice for our sins. Hebrews says, that for the joy set before Him, He came humbly and lived among us. He gave Himself to us and His life away for us. His gift keeps giving through the gift of Himself in the indwelling Holy Spirit who guides, comforts, strengthens and reminds us of our identity, our future, and our key to the throne room of God.  We are seen, safe, secure, and soothed forever.

Ironically, the infinitesimal comparative gifts we offered on December 20th to our lovely friends has brought us immeasurable joy, though temporal. With that comes the desire to do it again, in new creative ways.  God has told us in His Word to give to the poor, and our recently discovered conclusion is He has said that to increase our joy and understanding of Jesus’s love in giving to us. For it is we who are the unmitigatedly poor in every way until we receive His personalized and specialized gift of Himself - The Priceless Gift .
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Home is Where the Art Is

Home is Where the Art Is

Three years ago, in partnership with the Orange Mound Arts Council, My Cup of Tea launched an effort to support Black artists, raise the profile of the Orange Mound community, and to grow support for our social enterprise that employs women from the neighborhood. We have been blessed with the opportunity to work with some of Memphis’ most talented artists, all of whom have their work displayed in homes and businesses across the nation. Their stunning paintings have helped us sell out of the tea boxes that display their artwork, which, of course, helps us keep local women employed.

This past Friday, just as in previous years, we unveiled the creation of the selected artist and the tea box that displays the new artwork. This year’s artist, Darlene Newman, grew up and lives just outside the borders of Orange Mound and has been a professional artist for over 22 years. Darlene’s work is bright and whimsical, but full of depth and commentary on her faith journey and lived experience.

Drive through the Memphis community, and you will find her murals decorating places like the South Memphis Farmer’s Market. Her creations have been displayed in galleries in New Orleans, Atlanta, and Nashville, and she has traveled across the country to many different states to share her work. Darlene is also the creator of “Orange Mound Bound,” an animated series that will be shown on Amazon and Roku TV.

For My Cup of Tea, Darlene painted an homage to the traditional “shotgun” homes that were once synonymous with living in Orange Mound. Those homes are less common today, but part of the rich history of this proud community. Darlene named the acrylic, “Happiness at Home.” The work is based on an actual house on Hanley Street in the Cherokee community of Memphis.

“My hope is that my artwork not only adds beauty to these tea boxes but also symbolizes the strength and resilience of the women working at My Cup of Tea,” says Darlene Newman. “Their dedication to creating a better future for themselves and their community is truly inspiring.”

We have named the tea, “Home” to recognize and honor the neighborhood where the My Cup of Tea ladies live and work, but also to communicate that the sisterhood that has evolved has made the House at 3028 Carnes and the experiences we share there feel like home.

For an experience so intense and a work of art so warm and inviting, we needed a complementary tea. Debbie Hert, our tea expert, with the help of some of the ladies and some of our customers, chose Lemon Ginger Oolong to fill the tea box. This tea has a robust and fresh lemon flavor with the warmness and spiciness of freshly peeled ginger. It is a tea that from the first sip connotes the fondness of wherever you call home.

As in past years, we have licensed a limited number of tea boxes with the artist’s work on the front. These are available for $15 until they are all sold. What is different this year is that you also have the opportunity to own a signed, limited edition canvas print of this exquisite artwork. Darlene is allowing our customers to preorder prints.

Finally, we have been blessed by the partnership without friends at the Orange Mound Arts Council, and our winning artists, Andre Miller, Danny Broadway, and Darlene Newman. However, the success of this annual event would not have been possible without our customers and supporters. Thank you for supporting our artists, buying the tea box, and sharing our mission with your family and friends.

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One Neighborhood At A Time

One Neighborhood At A Time

Last Thursday the citizens of Memphis elected a young energetic mayor named Paul Young.  His acceptance to lead in our city’s recovery, redemption, and restoration was motivating and inspiring, and he challenged us constituents without notes. 

“I want to make sure that together we go through a transformation, a transformation that’s going to take us from hopelessness to hopeful; from poverty to prosperity, from hurt to healing, from stalled to thriving, and from good to truly great,” he said.

 

There is much ahead for the transformation of our city, and many will be enlisted to join the many already engaged. Orange Mound is only one of over 100 neighborhoods in Memphis. My Cup of Tea is among several other organizations here and committed to do our part. We join with our common love for our community and a desire to see it flourish. Mayor Young’s eloquent words, in a rhythmic cadence, are similar to the call we share with the neighbors on our block.  At least weekly as we work, pray, and plan at the House in Orange Mound, we beckon our employees to work for the neighborhood’s healing.

 When we began our mission 10 years ago, the emphasis was therapeutic and self-improvement discipleship.  Extending resources to move single moms to stability above the poverty line was our goal, and we selected Orange Mound because of its proximity to the middle of the city and its reported needs. We discovered the rich history and the neighborhood pride after we bought properties here.

A decade has found us faithful to our initial vision. Now we have contextualized our discipleship beyond personal growth and piety and   have expanded our assignment beyond our fences. There is a refreshed sense of public engagement and interest in the neighborhood. The perceived stability at our address is attributed in part to friendship evangelism, devoted volunteers, and the trust and dependability of our work staff.  The safety we experience and feel here is palpable and gives us oxygen within our walls. 

Psychiatrist, Dr. Curt Thompson, in his latest book, The Deepest Place, informs that mental health is contingent on and supported when a person is seen, soothed, secure, and safe. The 4 “Ss” are foundational before one can seek and participate in the prosperity of his home, neighborhood, or much more, his city. Our ladies are SEEN, SOOTHED, SECURE and SAFE. 

Mayor Paul Young has over 100 neighborhoods to encourage and catalyze. He would do well to meet and showcase three of our ladies who are role models in the effort of improving Orange Mound.

Cool cuts yards and trims hedges for many in our neighborhood, beyond the picture-perfect state she maintains for our property. She selects a yard of the month in our zone and stakes a sign in the front yard of the winner. She also brings discarded furniture left on curbs and repurposes, refinishes, and resells it. Her mother, Ms. Pearl, delivers food from the local food banks to many of the house bound as well as for some of our employees who have no transportation.

Deborah delivers food left over from our lunches to many of the men and women she encounters on the streets on her way home.  She prays for them and checks on them again. She visits our friends in the hospital, gives many employees rides to the doctor, and stays with them.  Daily she intercedes in prayer and often with tears of compassion for our staff and employees.

Cheryl is “all in” and a model Orange Mound citizen.  She beautifies her space, walks the neighborhood as she prays for it, drives neighborhood children to school when the weather is unpleasant, and she writes letters to pastors advocating for our unchurched neighbors.  She attends all community meetings and is always informed on positive movements.  She is the first to offer hope and compassion to all who enter our front door.

Our enthusiastic Mayor needs city-wide public engagement for the more than 100 neighborhoods to realize his vision of a Memphis renaissance. In the meantime, Orange Mound’s civic-minded women and men are already active in that endeavor and doing our part in Orange Mound.

Change begins in the hearts of those who love this city. Here is a list of most, if not all, of the City’s neighborhoods.  The task is daunting for a city of roughly 620,000 but quite possible one neighborhood at a time, just like changing lives one teacup at a time.

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Maple leaves on asphalt changing from green to red

A Change is Gonna Come

Benjamin Franklin was wrong.

Commenting on his hopes for the durability of the newly drafted U.S. Constitution, Franklin famously said,

…in this world, nothing is certain, but death and taxes.

But Franklin, an undisputed genius, left at least one thing out – change.

Change is inevitable. From the cosmetic to the life-altering, micro to macro, we experience change daily. And if we’re honest, most of us don’t like it very much. Entrepreneur and popular podcaster, Tim Ferriss has been quoted as saying,

People would rather be unhappy than uncertain.

Underscoring this notion is a study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology. Researchers used five different tests for five different, diverse groups of students. In the first test, students were asked to evaluate requirements for graduation along with a possible change to those requirements.

In the second test, students considered the practice of acupuncture. Researchers used 4 different descriptions of acupuncture with the primary difference being the length of time the procedure had been in use. Some students received the descriptions with more recent origin stories and others received the descriptions with earlier origin dates.

The third test involved a painting for which students were asked to rate its aesthetic qualities. Some students were told the artwork was created in 1905, while others were advised the artist painted it in 2005.

In study 4, students were given a photograph and description of a tree and asked to rate its aesthetic qualities. Some descriptions were manipulated to say the tree was older than the same tree in other students’ descriptions.

Finally, students were approached on campus and asked to participate in a product expansion taste test for a chocolate producer. Students were told one chocolate was first produced and sold first in 1937, while the other chocolate was first produced and sold in 2003.

By now you may have guessed the “punchline.” In every test, the older, more established item was rated significantly better than the more recent item. We are conditioned to place a higher value on those things in life that seem more certain and to fear those which are less tested despite their other merits. Sometimes, we would rather stay in our uncomfortable and difficult situations because it is what we know and change is scary.

At My Cup of Tea, the core of our mission is to help change lives for the better. There are some ways in which we can affect change. We can provide a job with fair wages, so women in Orange Mound can pay their bills. We can offer a good meal daily and provide emergency funds for a sister with an unexpected expense. We can plant and cultivate gardens, so the ladies have fresh produce and stave off food insecurity. We can educate about finances, tea, and, of course, Scripture. These are the changes in their lives where we can exercise at least some control. But even these “good” changes can be unnerving when they are new, different from what you know, and don’t guarantee success.

Then there are the changes weighing us down lately - the ones we cannot control. Within the last month, three of the ladies have lost loved ones. One lost a father on the heels of losing her mother to COVID two years ago. Another said goodbye to her sister suffering from multiple illnesses, and she had to make the gut-wrenching decision to remove her from life support. The third lost her daughter, a wife and mother of three, in what most of us would consider an unimaginable way. She was murdered by a stray bullet.

Of course, there is nothing we can do to change these outcomes. All we can do is what we have so many times in the past. We can pray with and for them. We can exercise patience and understanding. We can assist with funeral expenses, which can break the back of one already struggling to make the ends meet.

Most importantly, we can remind each other that amid the tumult that is change, we don’t have to be afraid because of the one thing that will never change – God.

“Jesus is the same, yesterday and today and forever.” – Hebrews 13:8

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Reading the Writing on the Wall

Reading the Writing on the Wall

Jeremiah 29:7” Seek the peace and prosperity of the city (neighborhood) to which I have carried you into exile”.

Orange Mound isn’t exactly exilic, but many who live here feel they are in exile compared to the prosperous and gated neighborhoods they drive past.

We are not gated here; we are boarded up.  Windows are nailed shut, doors are bolted, and crime is ubiquitous looking and finding foot holds where we let our defenses slack.

Memphis has received yet another unwanted distinction. We are THE most dangerous city in America according to FBI statistics. We are a proud city despising that nomenclature.  We who are loyal and committed are determined to bring peace. I imagine most in our city who still want to initiate law, order, peace, and safety would consider Orange Mound as a logical place to start remediation.

Last week I invited 5 of our employees into a conversation and asked what might be contributing to our community’s high crime rate. One said,

“Babies are having babies, and don’t know how to raise a child in the way he should go”, as she quoted Proverbs 22:6.  

Another added, “

Young kids are walking around with guns in their hip pocket, skipping school and joining gangs”. 

“No decent jobs,” answered a third.

What can a dozen women working in a tea company in a crime-ridden neighborhood do to further peace and safety? Could we find courage to step in where there is a need we can help meet? 

“The teens don’t listen to us” said the fourth, and mother of yet another teen who is pregnant and expecting a baby boy this winter.

“What is our responsibility as citizens to the young women who are birthing children in their teens?  What is our role for reaching their babies?” I asked.

One answer to a complicated problem with many needed interventions can be found in improving literacy. Members of three churches have stepped up to address struggling literacy rates in our public schools.  Arise 2 Read, a successful, faith-based literacy intervention nonprofit has agreed to guide us.

The statistics are heavy-laden as of May 24, 2023, 84% of third graders in Shelby County did not meet proficiency requirements on the Tennessee Comprehensive Assessment Program (TCAP). Professionals who administer and evaluate the results attribute this to the tragic truth that 76% of these third graders in Shelby County cannot read at grade level.

Experts universally agree that reading proficiency by the end of the third grade is one of the crucial markers in a child’s educational development. Failure to read proficiently by then is linked to high rates of school dropout, which impacts their confidence, productivity, and contributions to the community.  My pastor has said that prisons expand as students drop out of school.

Sixty-five percent of students who are not reading on grade level by 4th grade will eventually be incarcerated or on welfare. By contrast, 89% of students who are proficient by 4th grade will graduate from high school drastically improving the chances they will thrive as adults.

If a child is not reading in the third grade, he or she will most likely eventually drop out of school and look for something to do with lots of time and no diploma to leverage for a job.  The statistics continue to predict that unsupervised youth find each day full of dangerous options, and their choices include drugs, car theft, reckless driving, and gun violence. High school dropouts are 3.5 times more likely to be arrested than their peers who complete high school, for example.

I asked all five ladies if they would be willing to help second graders learn to read at our neighborhood elementary school, and they said “yes”.

Two who said “yes”, became proactive and attended training by Arise 2 Read last Thursday night. Now, within a week’s time they have joined 500 more women and men who want to be part of the solution for our stressed public schools. Low literacy rates in our elementary schools are a burdensome and sobering fact, and though we can’t enforce criminal laws ourselves, we can coach a 7-year-old how to read at grade level.

 The investment of time, which is one hour a week, and prayer will be faith-wrapped. 

But when the righteous prosper the city rejoices and there is dancing in the streets”, Proverbs 11:10. 

 The righteous are those citizens who are seeking peace for our city.

 Prov.11:11 encourages us,

 “Through the blessing of the upright a city is exalted.”

 “A kind-hearted woman gains honor.” Prov 11:16.

 In a few weeks, our ladies will join other coaches commencing fresh relationships with second graders, the graduating class of  2032.

This Spring 8000 Memphis kids will drop out of high school, if conservative estimates prevail.

 We must try.

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Two mature Black women exchange Christmas gifts

No Breaks with Tradition

“People thrive when they have a mix of new and novel experiences combined with steadfast foundations like a home, family, routines, and traditions.”

This is the opening sentence in an article from Psychology Today by Dr. Kimberly Key. It could almost serve as a reimagined mission statement for My Cup of Tea. At its core, our mission is to help women in Orange Mound “thrive” vocationally and spiritually.  We introduce them to “novel experiences” like gardening, food preparation, and properly steeping and drinking hot tea. We want The House to feel like a “home” and the employees and volunteers to feel like “family.” Every day is filled with “routines,” like prayer and lunch together. After years of working together in the Orange Mound community, we have our traditions, too.

Birthdays

A slender Black woman holds a blue birthday cake and wear a brooch of cash on her lapel

Celebrating a co-worker’s birthday is a common workplace occurrence, but at The House we do it special. It starts as soon as the doors open in the morning. All sorts of breakfast fare provided by the honoree’s co-workers are spread across our kitchen table. The “birthday lady” enjoys fruit, pastries, juice, and most of the usual delectables that comprise a Continental Breakfast.

A clothespin is attached to the uniform of the honoree and throughout the day co-workers and guests fill it with various denominations of cash. The celebrant wears the money-filled clip the entire day like a large brooch and typically goes home with a handsome sum.

After lunch, there is the customary birthday cake, but not the traditional, tired rendition of the “Happy Birthday” song. The version the My Cup of Tea ladies sing is boisterous, enthusiastic and involves clapping, dancing, and laughing. It is impossible not to feel loved and celebrated when the ladies sing “Happy Birthday.”

Garden Days

From the early spring to late fall, Wednesdays are “garden days.” We have written often about the vegetable gardens at The House. Every woman who wants a garden has a garden and “hump days” are generally reserved for that activity. When they weed, plant, or harvest, the ladies are not alone. They are usually joined by volunteers with gardening expertise who help them maintain the gardens and suggest what will grow well. If the work in the vegetable garden is light, there is always the large herb garden in the back that needs tending or flower in the various beds surrounding The House. The vegetables and herbs are important for staving off food insecurity, but the conversations and camaraderie are just as nutritious. From discussions about various ways to prepare squash to deep spiritual truths, time together in the gardens is about sharing and learning.

Christmas

Many families take their Christmas traditions for granted, but many of the women we have served over the years didn’t have holiday traditions until they arrived at My Cup of Tea. The My Cup of Tea ladies enjoy a hearty holiday lunch with volunteers, but the climax of the celebration is when their “Secret Santas” are revealed. Weeks prior to the event, each lady draws the name of a co-worker and keeps it to herself. She purchases a gift using the money she has earned working at My Cup of Tea and the knowledge she’s learned about the recipient. One at time, the ladies open their gifts for everyone to see and learn who is their “Secret Santa.” The “Santas” explain why they chose the gift for their recipient, and there are usually tears, laughter, and excessive Christmas joy.

Prayer Sessions

Maybe the most important traditions we have at My Cup of Tea are our impromptu prayer sessions. It is understood that anyone at The House, the volunteers, friends or relatives, or our Orange Mound neighbors can ask for prayer at any time. Just show up and ask and everything stops. We gather around the person and pray as specifically or generically as they have requested, trusting that our Heavenly Father hears and answers in His perfect way and time.

When My Cup of Tea was founded, it was not explicitly part of our plan to establish traditions. Traditions come about because of our need for belonging, continuity, and the ability to trust in something or someone. These traditions sprung up organically, in part because most of the women we have served lacked a place or purpose to which they could belong. Most had little to no continuity in their lives from having a place to go and work daily, a place to live for an extended period, or people on whom they could rely. Specific details of the traditions may change over time, but the women of My Cup of Tea know that they can count on them to happen, and they can trust the people who are a part of them.

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Won't You Be My Neighbor

Won't You Be My Neighbor

Last month many Memphians experienced power insecurity as rarely seen before when the power grid was down for days.  The delays in restoring the power frustrated all who were waiting, as well as those who were feverishly at work in record heat indexes to recover it.

Hot heads committed felonious acts, and a sense of desperation dogged the “dog days of summer.” When an entire block is down, there is no impetus to be neighborly.

Two ladies on a custom motorcycle

Most of us don’t know our neighbors anyway. A recent poll states only 26% of Americans have said they really know their neighbors. Professor of Sociology, Rebecca Adams has noted “There are a few key conditions necessary for developing neighborly friendship. Included are: proximity, repeated unplanned interactions, and a setting that encourages people to let their guard down.”

Perhaps the lack of sidewalks and front porches and commercial businesses within their neighborhood have kept most Memphians merely waving and rarely talking to a bystander. We drive by unsociable.

Sidewalks, commerce, and front porches abound in Orange Mound.  Nevertheless, doors stay locked to a knock, and no one is rocking on the veranda. Creditors and predators make house calls here and hospitality is a lost art to caution and defense.

The NIV translation of the Bible says “Love your neighbor” 508 times. Obeying that charge is our mission at The House, and we are gaining on it.

At My Cup of Tea our employees are beloved neighbors, though none live on our block. Many were without power in July’s extended heat advisory. Normally hot

Two women assembling tea boxes

days lead to hot and angry reactions, but not so with our ladies.  The patience in inconvenient times is unmistakable and the creativity they show is uncommon.  Deborah instructed all to use wet towels as a light cover when trying to sleep.  Many volunteers brought food and beverages. We who had power offered extra sleeping arrangements for those who had nailed shut windows and intentionally bolted doors.  The House stayed open, and most were able to come and refresh as our utilities never stopped.

Vulnerable, yet never overcome, the ladies could have taught techniques and lessons to many Memphians who were stuck in the unlucky parts of town. There is always an exchange of tricks and tips among our women who work at the tea company.

In the 10 years we have been working with women in Orange Mound, our mission has always been to be present and trustworthy. The Kingdom advances only through relationships of love and availability.  Befriending takes time and emotional energy.  God calls us to entangle our lives in thick and thin, cold and hot, clean and dirty, darkness and light, easy and hard, and we do this very well.

A older white woman and older black woman hugging

Recently, each of the ladies selected a Volunteer/Sister from one of the dozens who come here to be her personal mentor.  Authentic friendships have superseded the initial awkward attempts to be more than an acquaintance.   Our volunteers have been unwavering in their commitment to know the ladies without judgement or patronym.

All the coupled ladies are meeting once a week to share the common threads that occupy our prayers and needs and hopes.  I am convinced there is no obligation among any, for there is an air of excitement.  Several have gone out to dinner together, and two had a date to the movies.

Some are sharing Bible study, and some are working shoulder to shoulder in the tasks for the day. Neighborly love is swarming around us, and our rocking chairs are slapping in rhythm on the porch.

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